WOLF

by Robert Steel

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about

Recorded in Austin TX in 2013 with lots of amazing people providing their talents.

WOLF is an album about immense internal struggles. A wolf no one can see, but the person suffering at the hands of his own mind.

credits

released 19 September 2013

All these fine people offered their talents to make this album.
Dana Falconberry: Lead and backing vocals - danafalconberry.com
Danny Malone: Piano – dannymalone.com
Andrew Pressman: Electric and upright bass – rainarose.com
Adam Rader: Electric guitar – somesayleland.com
Tim Maher: Drums – vanamazi.com
Phoebe Hunt: Fiddle, Violin – phoebehunt.com
Oliver Steck: Trumpet –Google him, you won’t be disappointed
Matt Sever: Trumpet – matttheelectrician.com
Keith Gary: Piano, Glockenspiel, percussion – keithgaryproductions.com
John Elliott: Piano, keys – thehereafter.com
Harlan Hodges: Keys – harlanhodges.com
Lindsey Verrill: Cello – somesayleland.com / danafalconberry.com

HARMONIES AND CROWD VOCALS
Raina Rose: rainarose.com
Rebecca Loebe: rebeccaloebe.com
Danny Schmidt: dannyschmidt.com
Carrie Elkin: carrieelkin.com
Paul Curreri: paulcurreri.com
Vanessa Lively: vanessalively.com

Engineers:
Bruce Chandler: defstarstudio.com
Keith Gary: keithgaryproductions.com
Adam Hilton: linencloset.com

Words: Robert Steel
Music: Robert Steel
Producers: Robert Steel and Keith Gary (keithgaryproductions.com)

Mastered by: Nick Landis
Terra Nova Digital Audio, Inc.
Austin, Texas
www.terranovamastering.com

tags

license

all rights reserved

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Track Name: The Base
Hey Robert, or Robby
I’m not sure what you go by anymore
I just called to say I’m sorry
And I promised my mother I would call
So tag, you’re it
And I’m running for the base
You will never tag me again
Track Name: I ain't comin' back
I got my boots on, I’m going walkin’
I got a cigar, my hat and my coat
I leave a trail of trials behind me
But I’m smilin’ ear to ear just so you know

I got my hands, they’re made for helping
I got my heart as good as gold
I got a soul or so I’m told
But to me just like the Sasquatch is the soul

I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t comin’ back
I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t comin’ back
I’ll tell you one thing, or two things
I’m leaving and I ain’t comin’ back

Tell my mother that I love her
On the off chance you get to see her first
Though I don’t believe in Heaven
The first bubble it would not have been to burst

And I don’t believe a spider
Used to be our Marilyn Monroe
Everyone reincarnated
Always says they’re someone famous we all know

I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t comin’ back
I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t comin’ back
I’ll tell you one thing, or two things
I’m leaving and I ain’t comin’ back

For once someone should say that they were a guy named George
Who had a wife and kid, but later got divorced
Worked at a call center and by all accounts accrued
He was a good father

No I won’t be watching you from cloud nine
Or two or four or seventeen
I’ve flown planes right through them
And I have found they cannot hold a thing

When I’m gone, my friends I’m gone
All you’ll have is all those memories
I’d like to say I lived it to the fullest
But at my best a coward and a thief

I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t comin’ back
I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t comin’ back
I’ll tell you one thing, or two things
I’m leaving and I ain’t comin’ back
I’m leaving and I ain’t comin’ back
I’m leaving and I ain’t comin’ back
Track Name: Fastest Swimmer
Have you heard of Eric Murdock?
Well let me be the first to tell you
He’s the fastest swimmer in Comanche County
From Cache to Chattanooga
He’s going to be an Olympic swimmer
He’s going to live the American dream
From Wheaties boxes to razor blades to Nike

Have you heard of Eric Murdock?
He clocks in at six foot four
And he’s strong as an ox, fast as a shark
And thin as a board
He’s going to win enough gold to swim in
He’s going to put this small town on the map
And people will come from miles away just to see it

He trains like clockwork every day
From six to five
And he’s hired a coach from out of state
He’s got nutritionists and tutors
And pastors and machines
He’s going to be the best of them all

Have you heard about Eric Murdock?
Well let me be the first to tell you
He shot out of our town, draped in our flag
Then used it for a parachute
He wanted to be an Olympic swimmer
He wanted to live the American dream
But when the bubble burst on our small town
It changed everything

He won first, five years in the state
But on a National level
Against the best in the world
He never had what it takes
But it wasn’t from lack of trying
If anything he tried too hard
But talk in the town is that he let us all down
And embarrassed us all

Have you heard of Eric Murdock
He owns six dealerships in the state
He’s the number one seller in Oklahoma of Chevrolets
He was written off as a failure
By all who had never tried
But truth be told, when I’m telling it
He’s a hero of mine
Track Name: Hallway Closet
Friday night, age 14, Lisa’s parents were gone
So she threw a party, I was invited
There was a girl there I’d never seen before

But I had my eye on Melissa
But she had her eye on Steve
And Steve had his eye on Christy
I couldn’t place an eye on me

But it didn’t take long to break out the bottle
Place it on the dining room table
Where we all nervously gathered in a circle

Melissa spun the bottle slow and steady
I didn’t want it to land on me
Because I was afraid she’d have an excuse not to kiss me
And the bottle landed on Steve

The rule in place was as follows, a minute alone on the dark
So to the hallway closet, Melissa and Steve took the walk
The girls gathered outside the door to see if they could hear them kissing
But they couldn’t hear nothin’ over all their giggling

The pit in my stomach, it was swallowing me
I was hoping no one was noticing
They emerged from the closet holding hands and smiling

Then Christy spun the bottle slow and steady
I didn’t want it to land on me
Because my self-confidence is always low as can be
And the bottle landed on Steve

But the rule could not be broken, so despite Melissa’s contempt
To the hallway closet, Christy and Steve they went
We were church prayer quiet while we watched the time tick away
And I was feeling every ounce of poor Melissa’s pain

When the closet door opened, Melissa turned red
And ran to Lisa’s room to cry on the bed
But our teenage loins were on fire so we forged ahead

Then Lisa spun the bottle slow and steady
I didn’t want it to land on me
Because I was pretty sure she wouldn’t kiss me
And the bottle landed on me
Track Name: Six hundred seventy-seven point six
I fell hard in love in high school, but I was married to someone else at the time
She fell for me as well, but I was married to someone else at the time
Then we graduated, I divorced, she headed out west
To San Francisco and I moved to Dallas, TX
We kept in touch over all the years, it’s been a lot of years, twenty-five years
Then I got tired of running in circles, she got tired of falling in holes
We talked about it for hours and hours and I thought we should give it a go
So I quit my job and I headed out west

I got a fancy hotel room near her house, chocolates, flowers and a card
Iced down a white bottle of wine, spilled my guts all over that card
Then I got hungry and decided to go eat
I thought before the surprise I would familiarize myself with her territory
I ordered grilled chicken and a steamed veggie plate
Because I was doing my best to lose weight
And wouldn’t you know fate put her right behind
In the booth right behind me, she was with a friend
She told her friend all about me, she told her friend that she had a crush
That it died long ago in her, but in me it hadn’t so much
But she wasn’t concerned, ‘cause I didn’t have the guts

The waiter finally came around to check to see if I needed the check
And for many reasons I couldn’t speak, so I nodded yes
Then she got up to go to the bathroom, the bathroom was right in front of me
I knew upon her return, it would get embarrassing
So I had to think fast on my feet

I had a debit card and a hundred dollar bill
The bill came to twelve eighty-six
I left the hundred on the table and left
‘Cause I had to get out quick
That’s a six hundred and seventy-seven point six percent tip
The service was bad
The food was bad
I went back to the hotel room, ate the box of chocolates
Drank the wine, threw away the card
Put the flowers in the passenger seat of my rented car
Then I looked for a Texaco ‘cause my family wore the star
I saw a girl that was running on empty in similar ways it seemed
I gave her the flowers and tried to get lucky
Just to feel anything
But she didn’t want the flowers and she didn’t want me

I drove all the way back to Texas, I started at ten PM
Listened mostly to conservative Christians, scanning around the AM
I’m not sure I stayed awake, but I made it in
Half-crazy and hallucinating, thirty hour drives tend to do that to you
When the lies finally died, I settled for the truth
I don’t blame you, I don’t blame you
I bit off more than I could chew
I don’t blame you, I don’t blame you
But I still love you
And I have no idea what to do with that
Track Name: Guilt
I was sound asleep when you came home
But then you had to bang the dishes around
You could have just woken me up if you wanted me up
This conversation had been coming for a while
I had felt your guilt heavy in the night
Pushing the air out of the room ‘til we both can’t breathe

Trying to find a way to say, what I knew you wanted to say
And I could have helped you, but I wanted you to do it on your own
And I could have left with some self-respect intact, but I let you grind me down
To turn into a pile of forgettable dust

I had known there was another for a while
I knew his name, his address and his car
And I just allowed it to happen right under my nose
And the questions that I asked you every day
Were just to be amused by your lies
I was always disappointed you weren’t more creative

Trying to find a way to say, what I knew you wanted to say
And I could have helped you, but I wanted you to do it on your own
And I could have left with some self-respect intact, but I let you put me out
To turn into a pile of forgettable rust

This is where you tell me it’s my fault
This is where I tell you that’s a lie
This is where we scream ‘til we’re both too tired to fight
This is where we realize we’re both right
Track Name: The Light
There was a light in the window
So I knew she was home
A car around back
That wasn’t my own
Three hours ago
Her alibi was tight
Then three years of love
Went out with the light
Track Name: God's Graces
The party is dying a slow painful death
I’m wearing a Slayer t-shirt
My Sunday best
And Heaven it seems is a childhood memory
Of a cruel joke

Put on your coat, say your goodbyes
I hear that it’s nice
But that might be a lie
The fun has been had
It’s okay to leave

If I was in Gods’ graces
If I was in Gods’ graces
If I was in Gods’ graces
She’d be flying tonight

I have been one for throwing in the towel
And I’ve gotten used to the idea
He’s no where to be found
I’d have a thing or two to say
If he were here right now
But that will never happen
‘Cause faith has no face
Wears no crown

The cans are thrown out
The last dish is clean
It was one hell of a party
We were one hell of a team
And Heaven it seems
Is a pyramid scheme
From a dear friend

If I was in Gods’ graces
If I was in Gods’ graces
If I was in Gods’ graces
She’d be flying tonight
Track Name: Wishful Thinking
I bought a book on Hinduism just as soon as I left her house
Wishful thinking
On the off chance I get the chance to know her like no one else
I read each word like a present
In the present is where I aim to be
Caution’s in the wind, I’m throwing it again
Over the ocean inside of me

I count the days until I get to see her face and drowned in it again
Wishful thinking
On the fat chance she’ll give me the chance
To show her who I am
I’m wanting to read any chapter
That she’ll let me see
I’m starting to have my doubts that I’ll ever get a word out
She’s incredibly hard to read

My neck is stuck out
I fought and fought, but for the life of me could not hold it in
Wishful thinking
There is no chance and I mean none
That my heart will pierce her skin
And like a scolded dog
I display the saddest of looks
She looked at me like a wall, with no feeling at all
And just like that, she shut the book
Track Name: My Dear Katherine
My dear Katherine, I regret to inform you
My heart has shriveled like an old balloon
In my budding youth it nearly burst from beauty
But loneliness and loss have punctured through
Oh Katherine, you should have seen it
It went flying around the room
It made a whistling noise, while I sang along with joy
‘Til it landed at the foot of this tune

But there were days when I was giving love
Out like lollipops, under the sun
If I’d have known you then
At least I can pretend
Your love for me would have won
But the waves they came and pulled me out
And alone is all I know

My dear Katherine, this is not what I intended
Last night I laid awake in your room
You were sound asleep, all I wanted to do was leave
But your head was on my chest and I couldn’t move

Oh Katherine, for what it’s worth
Your attempts have been valiant and bold
I did a song and dance in hopes to bide some time
But I’m afraid our time (this lie) is coming to a close

But there were days, when I felt invincible
And the rain didn’t bother me at all
Then the wind got cold and my umbrella broke
And the cloak I once dawned has flown
And the cloak that I wrought has flown
the fire i stoked

And your warmth it came in way too late
To plant a seed to grow

Oh Katherine if you decide to forge ahead
You’ll have quite a haul to tow

My dear Katherine, I regret to inform you
My heart has shriveled like an old balloon
Track Name: 6x9s
I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door closed
Locked it behind me, then I climbed out the window
Unlocked my car, pushed it out into the road
So when I started it, they would not hear me go

I picked a cassette, loaded it into the stereo
Turned the knob as far as it will go
Feel the vibration coming out of the speaker cones
My rear view mirror shaking, my hands, my soul
But right now everything’s fine

‘Cause I’ve got my car, my six by nines
I’ve got Mindcrime on the alpine
Everything’s fine as long as I have my six by nines

All hell is breaking loose back at my home
My mother and sister are at my fiance’s throat
But Rhonda is tough as nails and holding her own
They’re fighting over me and they don’t even know
That I’m gone, so far away

‘Cause I’ve got my car, my six by nines
Piece of mind on the alpine
Everything’s fine as long as I have my six by nines

Flashback to a year before, I spent a week re-carpeting my car
And building a box for some new speakers to impress a girl
I thought she’d only like me if I found new carpet in my car
And speakers a foot behind her head
And we would go out every night and blast her favorite Whitesnake song
While fucking on fake sheepskin covers in the front seat of my car
Because we had no where else to go, because I lived at my mothers’ home
And now we have a baby on the way

‘Cause I’ve got my car, my six by nines
Last in Line on the alpine
Everything’s fine as long as I have my six by nines
I’ve got my Jensen six by nines
High N’ Dry on the alpine
Everything’s fine as long as I have my six by nines
Track Name: I love you too much
oh my dear my darlin’, you’ve got me waggin’ my tail
I come to you like a stray and afraid that you’ll stray when I fail
I’m in awe of your beauty, but I must admit I can’t see
What someone with your beauty would want with someone like me

I love you too much to let you love me
I love you too much to let you love me
I love you too much to let you love me
I’ll only let you down

Oh my God, oh my Lord, how could you bring her to me?
There’s not enough roses or babies to match all the beauty she brings
I’m just a broken old man, blinded by what I can’t see
I must admit that I want her with every fiber of my being

But I love you too much to let you love me
I love you too much to let you love me
I love you too much to let you love me
I’ll only bring you down
I’ll only bring you down

All the way
All the way down
All the way
All the way down
I’ll bring you all the way down

All I’ve ever wanted is someone of your pedigree
But somehow I strayed off the path and got wild, wild, too wild to be freed
It’s not a conclusion I’ve come to, this choice did not come easily
I really want to be the man, the man you think I can be

I love you too much to let you love me
I love you too much to let you love me
I love you too much to let you love me
I’ll only let you down