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WOLF

by Robert Steel

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1.
The Base 03:02
Hey Robert, or Robby I’m not sure what you go by anymore I just called to say I’m sorry And I promised my mother I would call So tag, you’re it And I’m running for the base You will never tag me again
2.
I got my boots on, I’m going walkin’ I got a cigar, my hat and my coat I leave a trail of trials behind me But I’m smilin’ ear to ear just so you know I got my hands, they’re made for helping I got my heart as good as gold I got a soul or so I’m told But to me just like the Sasquatch is the soul I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t comin’ back I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t comin’ back I’ll tell you one thing, or two things I’m leaving and I ain’t comin’ back Tell my mother that I love her On the off chance you get to see her first Though I don’t believe in Heaven The first bubble it would not have been to burst And I don’t believe a spider Used to be our Marilyn Monroe Everyone reincarnated Always says they’re someone famous we all know I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t comin’ back I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t comin’ back I’ll tell you one thing, or two things I’m leaving and I ain’t comin’ back For once someone should say that they were a guy named George Who had a wife and kid, but later got divorced Worked at a call center and by all accounts accrued He was a good father No I won’t be watching you from cloud nine Or two or four or seventeen I’ve flown planes right through them And I have found they cannot hold a thing When I’m gone, my friends I’m gone All you’ll have is all those memories I’d like to say I lived it to the fullest But at my best a coward and a thief I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t comin’ back I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t comin’ back I’ll tell you one thing, or two things I’m leaving and I ain’t comin’ back I’m leaving and I ain’t comin’ back I’m leaving and I ain’t comin’ back
3.
Have you heard of Eric Murdock? Well let me be the first to tell you He’s the fastest swimmer in Comanche County From Cache to Chattanooga He’s going to be an Olympic swimmer He’s going to live the American dream From Wheaties boxes to razor blades to Nike Have you heard of Eric Murdock? He clocks in at six foot four And he’s strong as an ox, fast as a shark And thin as a board He’s going to win enough gold to swim in He’s going to put this small town on the map And people will come from miles away just to see it He trains like clockwork every day From six to five And he’s hired a coach from out of state He’s got nutritionists and tutors And pastors and machines He’s going to be the best of them all Have you heard about Eric Murdock? Well let me be the first to tell you He shot out of our town, draped in our flag Then used it for a parachute He wanted to be an Olympic swimmer He wanted to live the American dream But when the bubble burst on our small town It changed everything He won first, five years in the state But on a National level Against the best in the world He never had what it takes But it wasn’t from lack of trying If anything he tried too hard But talk in the town is that he let us all down And embarrassed us all Have you heard of Eric Murdock He owns six dealerships in the state He’s the number one seller in Oklahoma of Chevrolets He was written off as a failure By all who had never tried But truth be told, when I’m telling it He’s a hero of mine
4.
Friday night, age 14, Lisa’s parents were gone So she threw a party, I was invited There was a girl there I’d never seen before But I had my eye on Melissa But she had her eye on Steve And Steve had his eye on Christy I couldn’t place an eye on me But it didn’t take long to break out the bottle Place it on the dining room table Where we all nervously gathered in a circle Melissa spun the bottle slow and steady I didn’t want it to land on me Because I was afraid she’d have an excuse not to kiss me And the bottle landed on Steve The rule in place was as follows, a minute alone on the dark So to the hallway closet, Melissa and Steve took the walk The girls gathered outside the door to see if they could hear them kissing But they couldn’t hear nothin’ over all their giggling The pit in my stomach, it was swallowing me I was hoping no one was noticing They emerged from the closet holding hands and smiling Then Christy spun the bottle slow and steady I didn’t want it to land on me Because my self-confidence is always low as can be And the bottle landed on Steve But the rule could not be broken, so despite Melissa’s contempt To the hallway closet, Christy and Steve they went We were church prayer quiet while we watched the time tick away And I was feeling every ounce of poor Melissa’s pain When the closet door opened, Melissa turned red And ran to Lisa’s room to cry on the bed But our teenage loins were on fire so we forged ahead Then Lisa spun the bottle slow and steady I didn’t want it to land on me Because I was pretty sure she wouldn’t kiss me And the bottle landed on me
5.
I fell hard in love in high school, but I was married to someone else at the time She fell for me as well, but I was married to someone else at the time Then we graduated, I divorced, she headed out west To San Francisco and I moved to Dallas, TX We kept in touch over all the years, it’s been a lot of years, twenty-five years Then I got tired of running in circles, she got tired of falling in holes We talked about it for hours and hours and I thought we should give it a go So I quit my job and I headed out west I got a fancy hotel room near her house, chocolates, flowers and a card Iced down a white bottle of wine, spilled my guts all over that card Then I got hungry and decided to go eat I thought before the surprise I would familiarize myself with her territory I ordered grilled chicken and a steamed veggie plate Because I was doing my best to lose weight And wouldn’t you know fate put her right behind In the booth right behind me, she was with a friend She told her friend all about me, she told her friend that she had a crush That it died long ago in her, but in me it hadn’t so much But she wasn’t concerned, ‘cause I didn’t have the guts The waiter finally came around to check to see if I needed the check And for many reasons I couldn’t speak, so I nodded yes Then she got up to go to the bathroom, the bathroom was right in front of me I knew upon her return, it would get embarrassing So I had to think fast on my feet I had a debit card and a hundred dollar bill The bill came to twelve eighty-six I left the hundred on the table and left ‘Cause I had to get out quick That’s a six hundred and seventy-seven point six percent tip The service was bad The food was bad I went back to the hotel room, ate the box of chocolates Drank the wine, threw away the card Put the flowers in the passenger seat of my rented car Then I looked for a Texaco ‘cause my family wore the star I saw a girl that was running on empty in similar ways it seemed I gave her the flowers and tried to get lucky Just to feel anything But she didn’t want the flowers and she didn’t want me I drove all the way back to Texas, I started at ten PM Listened mostly to conservative Christians, scanning around the AM I’m not sure I stayed awake, but I made it in Half-crazy and hallucinating, thirty hour drives tend to do that to you When the lies finally died, I settled for the truth I don’t blame you, I don’t blame you I bit off more than I could chew I don’t blame you, I don’t blame you But I still love you And I have no idea what to do with that
6.
Guilt 04:16
I was sound asleep when you came home But then you had to bang the dishes around You could have just woken me up if you wanted me up This conversation had been coming for a while I had felt your guilt heavy in the night Pushing the air out of the room ‘til we both can’t breathe Trying to find a way to say, what I knew you wanted to say And I could have helped you, but I wanted you to do it on your own And I could have left with some self-respect intact, but I let you grind me down To turn into a pile of forgettable dust I had known there was another for a while I knew his name, his address and his car And I just allowed it to happen right under my nose And the questions that I asked you every day Were just to be amused by your lies I was always disappointed you weren’t more creative Trying to find a way to say, what I knew you wanted to say And I could have helped you, but I wanted you to do it on your own And I could have left with some self-respect intact, but I let you put me out To turn into a pile of forgettable rust This is where you tell me it’s my fault This is where I tell you that’s a lie This is where we scream ‘til we’re both too tired to fight This is where we realize we’re both right
7.
The Light 01:52
There was a light in the window So I knew she was home A car around back That wasn’t my own Three hours ago Her alibi was tight Then three years of love Went out with the light
8.
God's Graces 05:14
The party is dying a slow painful death I’m wearing a Slayer t-shirt My Sunday best And Heaven it seems is a childhood memory Of a cruel joke Put on your coat, say your goodbyes I hear that it’s nice But that might be a lie The fun has been had It’s okay to leave If I was in Gods’ graces If I was in Gods’ graces If I was in Gods’ graces She’d be flying tonight I have been one for throwing in the towel And I’ve gotten used to the idea He’s no where to be found I’d have a thing or two to say If he were here right now But that will never happen ‘Cause faith has no face Wears no crown The cans are thrown out The last dish is clean It was one hell of a party We were one hell of a team And Heaven it seems Is a pyramid scheme From a dear friend If I was in Gods’ graces If I was in Gods’ graces If I was in Gods’ graces She’d be flying tonight
9.
I bought a book on Hinduism just as soon as I left her house Wishful thinking On the off chance I get the chance to know her like no one else I read each word like a present In the present is where I aim to be Caution’s in the wind, I’m throwing it again Over the ocean inside of me I count the days until I get to see her face and drowned in it again Wishful thinking On the fat chance she’ll give me the chance To show her who I am I’m wanting to read any chapter That she’ll let me see I’m starting to have my doubts that I’ll ever get a word out She’s incredibly hard to read My neck is stuck out I fought and fought, but for the life of me could not hold it in Wishful thinking There is no chance and I mean none That my heart will pierce her skin And like a scolded dog I display the saddest of looks She looked at me like a wall, with no feeling at all And just like that, she shut the book
10.
My dear Katherine, I regret to inform you My heart has shriveled like an old balloon In my budding youth it nearly burst from beauty But loneliness and loss have punctured through Oh Katherine, you should have seen it It went flying around the room It made a whistling noise, while I sang along with joy ‘Til it landed at the foot of this tune But there were days when I was giving love Out like lollipops, under the sun If I’d have known you then At least I can pretend Your love for me would have won But the waves they came and pulled me out And alone is all I know My dear Katherine, this is not what I intended Last night I laid awake in your room You were sound asleep, all I wanted to do was leave But your head was on my chest and I couldn’t move Oh Katherine, for what it’s worth Your attempts have been valiant and bold I did a song and dance in hopes to bide some time But I’m afraid our time (this lie) is coming to a close But there were days, when I felt invincible And the rain didn’t bother me at all Then the wind got cold and my umbrella broke And the cloak I once dawned has flown And the cloak that I wrought has flown the fire i stoked And your warmth it came in way too late To plant a seed to grow Oh Katherine if you decide to forge ahead You’ll have quite a haul to tow My dear Katherine, I regret to inform you My heart has shriveled like an old balloon
11.
6x9s 04:35
I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door closed Locked it behind me, then I climbed out the window Unlocked my car, pushed it out into the road So when I started it, they would not hear me go I picked a cassette, loaded it into the stereo Turned the knob as far as it will go Feel the vibration coming out of the speaker cones My rear view mirror shaking, my hands, my soul But right now everything’s fine ‘Cause I’ve got my car, my six by nines I’ve got Mindcrime on the alpine Everything’s fine as long as I have my six by nines All hell is breaking loose back at my home My mother and sister are at my fiance’s throat But Rhonda is tough as nails and holding her own They’re fighting over me and they don’t even know That I’m gone, so far away ‘Cause I’ve got my car, my six by nines Piece of mind on the alpine Everything’s fine as long as I have my six by nines Flashback to a year before, I spent a week re-carpeting my car And building a box for some new speakers to impress a girl I thought she’d only like me if I found new carpet in my car And speakers a foot behind her head And we would go out every night and blast her favorite Whitesnake song While fucking on fake sheepskin covers in the front seat of my car Because we had no where else to go, because I lived at my mothers’ home And now we have a baby on the way ‘Cause I’ve got my car, my six by nines Last in Line on the alpine Everything’s fine as long as I have my six by nines I’ve got my Jensen six by nines High N’ Dry on the alpine Everything’s fine as long as I have my six by nines
12.
oh my dear my darlin’, you’ve got me waggin’ my tail I come to you like a stray and afraid that you’ll stray when I fail I’m in awe of your beauty, but I must admit I can’t see What someone with your beauty would want with someone like me I love you too much to let you love me I love you too much to let you love me I love you too much to let you love me I’ll only let you down Oh my God, oh my Lord, how could you bring her to me? There’s not enough roses or babies to match all the beauty she brings I’m just a broken old man, blinded by what I can’t see I must admit that I want her with every fiber of my being But I love you too much to let you love me I love you too much to let you love me I love you too much to let you love me I’ll only bring you down I’ll only bring you down All the way All the way down All the way All the way down I’ll bring you all the way down All I’ve ever wanted is someone of your pedigree But somehow I strayed off the path and got wild, wild, too wild to be freed It’s not a conclusion I’ve come to, this choice did not come easily I really want to be the man, the man you think I can be I love you too much to let you love me I love you too much to let you love me I love you too much to let you love me I’ll only let you down

about

Recorded in Austin TX in 2013 with lots of amazing people providing their talents.

WOLF is an album about immense internal struggles. A wolf no one can see, but the person suffering at the hands of his own mind.

credits

released September 19, 2013

All these fine people offered their talents to make this album.
Dana Falconberry: Lead and backing vocals - danafalconberry.com
Danny Malone: Piano – dannymalone.com
Andrew Pressman: Electric and upright bass – rainarose.com
Adam Rader: Electric guitar – somesayleland.com
Tim Maher: Drums – vanamazi.com
Phoebe Hunt: Fiddle, Violin – phoebehunt.com
Oliver Steck: Trumpet –Google him, you won’t be disappointed
Matt Sever: Trumpet – matttheelectrician.com
Keith Gary: Piano, Glockenspiel, percussion – keithgaryproductions.com
John Elliott: Piano, keys – thehereafter.com
Harlan Hodges: Keys – harlanhodges.com
Lindsey Verrill: Cello – somesayleland.com / danafalconberry.com

HARMONIES AND CROWD VOCALS
Raina Rose: rainarose.com
Rebecca Loebe: rebeccaloebe.com
Danny Schmidt: dannyschmidt.com
Carrie Elkin: carrieelkin.com
Paul Curreri: paulcurreri.com
Vanessa Lively: vanessalively.com

Engineers:
Bruce Chandler: defstarstudio.com
Keith Gary: keithgaryproductions.com
Adam Hilton: linencloset.com

Words: Robert Steel
Music: Robert Steel
Producers: Robert Steel and Keith Gary (keithgaryproductions.com)

Mastered by: Nick Landis
Terra Nova Digital Audio, Inc.
Austin, Texas
www.terranovamastering.com

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